Monthly Archives: June 2025

Simple Sunday

Posted in Blood test, California, cooking, swimming by

We’re experiencing a bit of a heat wave. Mid-90s all week. I’ve closed all the windows and that keeps the cool in for a while. I think after this week it drops back down to the 80s. We are trying not to water too much, but just enough to keep things going. Our water bill always skyrockets in summer.

I finally got to the pool and loved spending 30 minutes swimming. Although I am definitely sore from doing it. With the 4th of July next week, I need to look at what day I can get a swim in without being stuck in ‘vacation’ traffic.

On a positive note, my kappa light chains came down a point to 19.6. High normal is 19.4, so all good there. I don’t even see Dr. L till August sometime. My LLS grant is used up, and so hopefully next month there’ll be some funding for myeloma. I haven’t heard that any funding has opened in quite a while, so I’ll just need to be checking daily.

My son came and took a load to the thrift store. That got rid of some old exercise equipment. I doubt he’ll get to the next dump run till after the 4th.

My daughter made a delightful black bean chili for dinner the other night. I froze 2 portions for later lunches. I’m using the Souper Saver cubes. They are really great, and if you freeze leftovers, check them out. I first saw them on Facebook, where Steve Sando( Rancho Gordo) was cooking basic beans and showed them. After the beans are frozen, you pop them out and store them in a ziplock or other reusable baggie.

Here’s a picture of a cholla cactus blossom.

You don’t want to get too close to these.

The news coming out of the white house and all the departments is so discouraging. It’s also so alarming. I’ve got my NYT sub, and I also do The Hill and The Atlantic. Some of the op eds are truly scary to read about where this administration is going. It’s hard to imagine where we’ll be in 3 more years.

Thankful Thursday

Posted in California, Death by

It’s been a week since B died. I miss him every minute.

I’m very thankful for all the work my daughter did to keep up with the meds, etc. At the end, it was quite intense of very 2 hours, so she did a great job.

I’m thankful to the hospice nurses as they were right on everything and so quick. When we needed the hospital bed, it was here in 3 hours and set up.

I’m thankful for the outpouring of love from his friends/coworkers on Facebook. He was much loved by his peers. There have been such nice comments about Barclay.

I’m thankful we are not under that heat dome like back east. Our temperatures are going up this next week, but still in the low 90s. So not too bad. We’ve had the coolers running, but that’s expected.

I’ve worked through some paperwork about B, but not all. I have to go get the physical copy of the death certificate, and I’ll do that next week. I’ve cleared off some things from his desk, but there’s still more to do. I also packed up some clothes for Goodwill, but there’s more to do there as well. I haven’t turned off his phone yet and will do that next week. That’s a hard one.

I got a nice phone call from Dr. Singhal about B and how sorry she was about it all. She is an extraordinary oncologist, and I know she did all she could. I did ask her to contact his BMB team from before when he had MDS, and she said she would. I’m sure they would want to know.

Well, that’s all the updates for now. Although, in other news, the tragedy on Lake Tahoe was just awful. We’ve seen squalls come out of nowhere, and those boaters shouldn’t have been out on the lake. Sad. And it was a birthday cruise for his mom. What a tragedy.

A beautiful evening to die.

Posted in California, cancer, Death by

Barclay died at 6:57 on Juneteenth. A fitting day for him as he was all about equality, diversity, and inclusion. He was a conscientious objector during the Vietnam War because of his Quaker beliefs. So Juneteenth was a perfect backdrop.

We were all there ( both kids and I), and it was a cool sunny evening. Death is never pretty, but he died as peacefully as expected.

At some point, we will take his ashes to the Lake Tahoe area and scatter them. There are quite a few things to take care of, but I figure I’ll get to them when I do. We had all the important stuff done, but now there’s still misc like removing him from different accounts and such. I’m not in any hurry, and like I said, I’ll get to it eventually.

I miss him. I guess after being with someone for 55 years, that’s expected. In some ways, we had a storybook life of adventure and travels. Money-wise, we never did that one very well, but here we are.

My daughter was amazing in the last few days, taking care of medication every 2 hours and keeping track of things. The nurses were all impressed with her efficiency. My son is having a harder time with it all, but he’s been here helping do stuff and move things back to where they go since we had a lot of equipment in here. Everyone grieves differently, and I suspect him keeping busy will help him.

Still smiling! He loves his Triumph motorcycle.

Up at Tahoe House in Tahoe City, ca

In healthier times.

Simple Sunday and some updates

Posted in California, cancer, Lake tahoe, Walking by

Today, Father’s Day, would have been the day we left for Tahoe for the week, so that’s a little hard for me. Barclay isn’t all that aware, so I don’t think he remembers.

Things are about the same here, maybe a little worse.

We had hospice come on three different days: one was the intake nurse, one was the RN who would be our nurse, and then the social worker. It was all good, although a bit overwhelming. The nurse set up getting a wheelchair, bedside commode, oxygen, a shower chair, and a walker. So, lots of stuff.

He’s using the oxygen, so that helps some. We’re all taking turns being around so he has someone here. We all gave him his Father’s Day cards this morning, too.

Overall, just being here.

We’ve had simple meals( my daughter and I) like Costco pulled pork on tortillas, salads, hot dogs, and one night just sandwiches.

It’s been nice weather and not too hot at all.

Today, my son is coming up to do some yard work and take some cardboard to recycle. He still needs to plan the dump runs, as there is a lot to take to really clean up around the barn. My daughter has the chicken coop almost all the way down. She’s done an incredible job, really.

I’ve had a few nice walks and am rotating my PT exercises so that continues. My knee seems to be doing better overall all and I’m not using my brace anymore, just a compression sleeve.

This coming week I have Velcade, so that’ll be interesting. My daughter had to change her work week so she could be here for me when I’m gone. I don’t have any plans to go to the pool or the gym till we’re done with hospice. No sense trying to add something else in right now.

I hope your world is a happy one, and on a positive note, the No Kings demonstrations were a huge success. Let’s hope the orange man starts to act like a president.

Midweek Musings

Posted in California, cancer, cooking, hospice, peritoneal mesothelomia by

We met with the hospice intake nurse yesterday. I was so impressed with the efficiency and information. She was so obliging with everything. She made a list of what B needs, like oxygen, a shower chair, etc, and by 5:30 that evening, it was being delivered. I was kind of blown away. They showed us how the oxygen works, so when he needs it, it’ll be there. He hasn’t really needed it yet.

Today, I need to go to town to pick up his medication. All of his meds now will be through hospice, but his pain med had already been filled yesterday. I couldn’t go get it because my daughter headed down to work.

Last night I did the big salad of spring mix, tomatoes, cucumbers, and the leftover polenta. Then I pan-fried the Costco breaded chicken(freezer), which, by the way, is quite good. B ate some polenta and a bit of salad.

The nurse gave us a binder with info and a 24-hour call number if anything comes up. My biggest concern is B falling. Especially because it most likely will be his low blood counts that he will succumb to. When his hemoglobin drops too low, then that’ll probably be it. The drop in hemoglobin will cause him to be even more unsteady.

I’m continuing to putter around the house, and I have a nice little load to go to Goodwill. Any duplicates of things are what I’m focusing on. Also, in the kitchen, I have a number of OXO containers I’m not using and don’t foresee using, so I’m passing those on. As always, I am looking around for ways to streamline the house. It makes it so much easier to tidy up, clean, and maintain.

I hope these days find you well and living your best life. Life can turn on a dime, as they say.

Menu

Posted in California, cancer, cooking, Death, husband, meal planning by

We are eating very light salads and meals.

Sunday night, we had a Greek pasta salad, and B ate some! That made me happy.

Monday- left-over Greek salad, and my daughter made a pan of polenta with herbs and cheese.

Tuesday- something Mexican. I have beans and rice, so I just need to add a protein.

Wednesday- I want to use some pasta (fettuccine from TJ’s) in the freezer. I’ll add grilled chicken or some shrimp.

Thursday- Again, some freezer meal to keep working our way through stuff. Plus, I have a container of spring mix to use for a salad.

Friday- not sure. My son is coming up to get the truck and smog it. He’s spending the night because the next day he’s going to do a dump run. Of course, all this depends on how B is doing.

All in all, we’re keeping it very simple. Nothing too involved. Just simple food.

Anyone who has had cancer or is going through end of life recognizes how small your world becomes. You just don’t go out a lot or even really care about much except what’s next. I’d love to go down to the pool or the gym, but I’ll have to see how each day shapes up. If I can, I’ll try and do something this week.

We did a phone intake with hospice yesterday. It was very thorough, so we’ll see what today brings.

Simple Sunday

Posted in budgets, California, cancer, Death, husband by

First, I want to thank subscriber T for a generous donation to help us through our rough times here. I’m always so humbled that people would consider this at all. Maybe it has to do with feeling insecure about my value or even this blog. But T, thank you for thinking of us.

Another warm day here in N. Ca. I’ve been closing the house down by 8am so the cool stays inside. We turned the coolers on a little earlier yesterday and will again today.

I walked yesterday and today in the park. I’m still not quite up to the .75 mark, but close. I got to .68. No one has been there, which has been very nice. Just me and all the Canada goose families. I’ve done really well this week, not using my cane and trying to walk steadily. I’ve done my PT exercises every other day, and I do think, especially, the ones on the massage table are helping. I just need to keep it up and not think that if my knee feels better to stop.

Now, for some recapping of the situation. B’s doctor said there’s nothing more to do. The PET scan showed disease progression, so the immunotherapy is not doing anything. She was very compassionate about it all. Now we wait for hospice to call us, which should be tomorrow or at least early next week. It is incredibly sad and feels a bit surreal. I’m sure those who have lost a spouse can relate. My son is taking it particularly hard, and I hope he feels he can talk to me. All in all, it really just means waiting, which is also incredibly hard.

We had reservations to go to Tahoe for Father’s Day week, and that will be tough to realize we won’t do that anymore. I haven’t cancelled the reservation yet, probably because of denial. But I will do so this week.

I’m trying to do my ‘normal’ stuff to keep things normal, I guess. Once we meet with hospice, we’ll know more about how to proceed. I don’t have a clue, really.

I hope you out there in blog land are having a Simple Sunday. If you want to share what you’re doing today.

A picture of the coreopsis and a cactus

Frugal Friday

Posted in budgets, California, cancer, frugalism by

I’ve had 3 no-spend days while home this week.

I went to WinCo on Monday and spent about $30 on food. I didn’t need a lot there.

Then Wednesday after Sacramento, I went to Costco. Food was $190. My main reason for going was to get B the shoes(Sketchers) that you just slip on your feet. He’s quite unstable walking, so these have good support. He is using a cane, but still.

I’ll try and avoid grocery stores for a while:)

Today is almost a no-spend day. We are having someone come and finish the weed eating on the lower part of the property. I have a cash envelope for that, though.

I’m planning to go to the gym after he starts. The library doesn’t open till 10 on Fridays, so I don’t need to get there by 9. I need to get gas at Costco too for the coming week. I also have a Goodwill drop-off to do. It’s very convenient since it’s right across from the library/gym. They’re not very friendly, but that doesn’t really matter, I guess.

Some of the first of the month bills are out, but the bulk come out next week.

I’m thinking about a schedule for swimming and the gym. Not sure yet, plus it depends on how B is feeling. Someone needs to be here at all times with him. My daughter has a few work shifts next week, so that will change my schedule.

Yesterday I BBQed some chicken, and so we have some leftovers for lunch today.

I’ll update on Barclay soon. It’s hard to process, so I’m leaving it till I feel I can.

Thankful Thursday

Posted in California, cancer, Gratitude by

It’s difficult to be thankful right now when everything feels so bleak. But I must remember that this too will pass, and the pain of right now will also pass.

I’m thankful my doctor’s appointment went well. Honestly, as long as the Velcade is working, I’m extremely grateful. I don’t have a clue how long it will be effective, but there are other treatments that are still available. I just can’t think about that right now with everything else going on.

I’m grateful that the weather isn’t terribly hot, but it has been in the mid-80s. We’re still turning on coolers, but not til later in the day and only for a few hours. We’re still watering the yard every day but less than we normally would have to if it was 100 degrees.

I’m grateful that my daughter has had a break from work, and she has done so much around here. She has a number of shifts coming up, but this week has been so productive. Right now, she’s dismantling the chicken coop. B built it very well, and she’s having to take down each wall before getting to the roof. I thought it would be a good greenhouse, but really, it’s got too much ‘chicken’ left in it. The space will be nicer open.

I’m grateful for B’s oncologist who has been very supportive.

A bit of catch up

Posted in California, cooking, meal planning, swimming, Walking by

I finally broke the ice, so to speak, and went to the pool. I felt ready to do it. I kept it very low-key and did about 20 minutes. The pool was not overly busy, so that was nice. Still sharing lanes but no waiting. I can certainly feel it this morning though.

I walked this morning, although slowly, as I am sore from swimming and my knee feels a bit stressed. My daughter is taking B to infusion, so I will be home doing some odds and ends stuff. I want to get another box of canning jars to Goodwill, so I will do that.

Menu things are not so interesting as I’m not too motivated to cook with,B not eating much.

Last night I made blueberry pancakes and scrambled eggs, so not very exciting.

Tonight, I’ll check the freezer and see what needs to be used up.

Wednesday- Chicken on the BBQ and tofu

Thursday- ginger soy ramen ( recipe from the NYT)

Friday- pizza

Saturday- TBD

What’s on your menu plan?? I could use some inspiration.