It’s a Struggle…

Honestly, it is hard at times to be positive about having cancer. I can compartmentalize most of the time and I do. But then when labs come in and you have to face the reality it is hard.

I was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma in 2005, had the autologous transplant in 2006. I know how lucky I am to even still be here but it doesn’t make it easier. I relapsed in 2010 and actually did great on Revlimid ( aside from it causing severe IBS) for 5 years and then that stopped working. My kappa light chains went up to almost 1100mg/L so pretty high and my ratio was way up at 92mg/L. Velcade or bortezomib is a proteasome inhibitor and worked astonishing well. Within 2 cycles my numbers were almost in the normal range. And that has lasted 4 whole years.

I have no complaints. But the reality is now my numbers are increasing exponentially and I have to deal with it. With my new numbers, I still think it will be January 2021 when I restart Velcade. Since I get my labs every 8 weeks that puts me at the beginning of December, with a doctor visit by the end of the month and then a start date. Velcade means weekly trips to the infusion center. It’s 3 weeks on 1 week off.

It’s depressing but the fact remains I have a cancer that goes in to remission and then re-emerges. It’s never going to disappear. Don’t get me wrong, I am exceedingly fortunate not to be dead from this already, so it’s really just a matter of buck up and deal with it. So many cyber friends with myeloma are long gone with very aggressive myeloma. Mine is always there but so far hasn’t been aggressive.

So here’s the numbers:

Kappa light chains at 382.mg/L up from 239.2mg/L

Lambda light chains at 11.2mg/L up from 10.2mg/L

ratio of the two at 34.11 mg/L up from 23.2

M-protein( SPEP) .4 up from .3

Well, blood doesn’t lie so there it is in black and white. The cancer cells are on the march.

Give me a few days and I’ll be okay with it and be ready to reset. Plus, after thinking about it, I wouldn’t want to start anything till after the holidays so there’s that as well. I’ll see what he thinks when I see him at the end of the month.

Another PG &E blackout

We had another PG&E blackout start on Wednesday around 2 pm and this one lasted till Thursday @ 4pm. We ran the generators and kept the freezer and refrigerator on for about 4 hours morning and 4 hours evening.

Now they’re saying there will be another tomorrow into Sunday. This is ridiculous. Yes, we want to be fire safe, but once again there were hardly any winds. Now, this weekend I did see 25mph winds so that is quite windy and I would agree with the shutoff.

Well, we made it thru and even enjoyed a good game of Scrabble with my daughter by candle/lantern light.

Yesterday was my oncology appt and it went ok. Nothing really new. He just said the same that we’ll wait till my numbers are higher. Now it would be more akin to wait and watch. I agree for now but we’ll see what my labs are in December.  Well, it is hard to be anticipating the what-ifs. Oh well, cancer has taught me to be more patient and what will be will be.

We did a small Costco trip this week for coffee and a few other things. Not a big shop. I also did the Walmart pick up. That had so things for the blackouts( more flashlights) but they were out of stock on those.

Today is a gym day and homemade pesto pizza for dinner assuming we have power. Most people it seems have bought generators and you can hear them going all around town. Our grocery store even got a commercial one so they could stay open.  We need to fill up gas cans and cars before this weekend and hope for no fires. The one over in the Sonoma area was started by a transformer so that is super scary.

 

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