I’ve had a difficult week and am not feeling very grateful. Mostly, I feel sad and overwhelmed. This week is the final week of B’s life and hospice; though they were great in the way they helped, it was still not easy. Well, it wasn’t hospice; it’s just the way someone dies. It’s not pretty, and everyone here at least has some PTS over those last days. Life does go on, and we go on, albeit differently.
Then Father’s Day is Sunday, and I’m sure that will be tough too. I wanted to do something special, like go to Tahoe, but right now Tahoe is filled with annoying tourists, and all the main roadways are under construction. When my son and I went last week, it was a disaster all around the lake, and Truckee was even worse. I-80 has numerous slowdowns with major construction, so no Tahoe right now. So, we will celebrate here, and I’m sure Barclay will be with us in spirit. I have a bottle of Veuve Clicquot in the fridge, and I think I will open that around dinner time. I’m planning on tofu burgers because anytime you ask Barclay what he wanted for dinner, he’d always say, How about tofu burgers.
I am grateful for all my great memories of the things the two of us did. Some were crazy when we were young, and then traveling in Rubi in our golden years. It’s been a year, but I’m not sure time is the factor here. Just trying to keep it together.
I haven’t felt motivated either. It could be the heat, as I definitely don’t do well in it. We are in a cooling trend so that will help if I can be outside more.
Meals have been simple this week. My daughter had some southwest chicken wraps from Costco; I had a quesadilla; we had pulled pork, beans, and rice burritos one night. When it’s hot, neither of feel like eating a lot. I still have a salad pack to use, so we’ll have that tonight.
I found an electric Cuisinart fondue pot at Goodwill, and I bought some fondue to try it, but I think I’ll wait. It is brand new in the box. I checked if it worked, and it did. I paid 6.99. We like fondue a few times a year, and the one I have is very small, actually a chocolate fondue pot, which I didn’t know when I bought it off eBay several years ago.
I do plan on going to the library, maybe tomorrow, as I have ahold and I want to return the 2 books I have. I’ll probably go to the gym first.
Well, on that depressing note, I hope your week has been better than mine, and this finds you well, healthy, and happy.
My new Ikea chair, my daughter put together for me. I wanted to get two and thought I’d wait till I got this one. But they were all sold out, as it was on sale for 70 off. IKEA stuff sells out frequently on their sale items. It’s quite comfortable, although not a curl-up-and-read chair.
Oh, that’s little Cherry lurking.
Sending a big cyber-hug…i think your home is lovely…and remember the best times and be at home if you can. Travel memories are lovely but can hurt…i cannot go back to the places sheila and i loved because it reminds me of the void in my life now. I have finally found peace in a small and simple decluttered house….i built houses for sheila but we never settled, so finally i am finding an anchor. And kitties? They are perfect therapy…my neighbours found a little homeless kitten out on the moors in the middle of nowhere…and little “blossom” now has a daddy to love and look after her! Every day when i am working, she jumps up onto the desk and sleeps next to me as i work!!!
Take care of yourself this difficult week.
this was sad reading and I want to reach through time and space to hug you as well.
Finding gratitude in the sad times is a tough one for me. Sometimes all I find is a small crust like I am glad Cherry is with me. It’s often not enough, it feels.