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Am I a minimalist??

Posted in books, California, Death, decluttering, home stuff, simple foods, simplicity, Uncategorized by

After reading the latest book,

I’m pretty sure that’s a spoof on her ‘author’ moniker.??

I wondered what I still had that was not really worth keeping. Or was it now something no longer needed? I’ve gone through a lot of shelves, drawers, closet ( we only have one closet) and took a hard look at things. Some things are left to deal with later, but a great deal was eliminated.

The author asks, “How do you want your home to ‘feel?’ “and then this is your why. I really want things to be simplified. It’s that simple. I want things to be uncomplicated and simple. Simple meals, simple house chores, simple maintaining the house, etc.

One of her tidbits was to go around your house and identify what irritates you or bugs you, and toss or throw them in the goodwill box. I like that idea.

This is part of the latest pile. 😦

Of course, having my husband just die is a motivator. Some of the things to let go of are those that I have no use for. Half-used notepads, a zillion pens, old T-shirts. ( I have saved some of his T-shirts like Grateful Dead, for now. I don’t know how I’ll feel in 6 months. Here I thought we had really prepared for his passing by getting rid of things, but honestly, it’s a shock what’s there. We have been on our minimalism journey for over 15 years, and here I am scratching my head going”why”?

As I’ve always contended, life is about change and trying to be in the season of your life as it is. I’ve never been here before, so I have to make the changes.

I’m not planning on canning in the near future, for example. So I don’t need a bizillion canning jars. I’ve given away on our Pay it forward group over 3 dozen jars. Now, of course, I’m holding back getting rid of my water canner and my All-American. Why? I don’t know, except I like canning, and I still might in the future. That is too early to tell, because this year, with Barclay dying, we didn’t have any garden. So time will tell on this one.

Even the yard stuff has been a lot. My son has done 3 trips to the dump already. And we still have at least 2 more that are mostly old wood. All this should have been done long before now. We’ve lived here 30 years, and well, stuff does accumulate, especially old wood from projects, scrap metal, old coolers, etc. I’m seriously thinking of hiring someone who does junk to get rid of it.

I suppose all things change as our attitude, circumstances, and perspective change. I’m glad mine is continuing to evolve and change with my current circumstances. I just wish Barclay were here to do this with me. 😦

Simple Sunday

Posted in budgets, California, cancer, Death, husband by

First, I want to thank subscriber T for a generous donation to help us through our rough times here. I’m always so humbled that people would consider this at all. Maybe it has to do with feeling insecure about my value or even this blog. But T, thank you for thinking of us.

Another warm day here in N. Ca. I’ve been closing the house down by 8am so the cool stays inside. We turned the coolers on a little earlier yesterday and will again today.

I walked yesterday and today in the park. I’m still not quite up to the .75 mark, but close. I got to .68. No one has been there, which has been very nice. Just me and all the Canada goose families. I’ve done really well this week, not using my cane and trying to walk steadily. I’ve done my PT exercises every other day, and I do think, especially, the ones on the massage table are helping. I just need to keep it up and not think that if my knee feels better to stop.

Now, for some recapping of the situation. B’s doctor said there’s nothing more to do. The PET scan showed disease progression, so the immunotherapy is not doing anything. She was very compassionate about it all. Now we wait for hospice to call us, which should be tomorrow or at least early next week. It is incredibly sad and feels a bit surreal. I’m sure those who have lost a spouse can relate. My son is taking it particularly hard, and I hope he feels he can talk to me. All in all, it really just means waiting, which is also incredibly hard.

We had reservations to go to Tahoe for Father’s Day week, and that will be tough to realize we won’t do that anymore. I haven’t cancelled the reservation yet, probably because of denial. But I will do so this week.

I’m trying to do my ‘normal’ stuff to keep things normal, I guess. Once we meet with hospice, we’ll know more about how to proceed. I don’t have a clue, really.

I hope you out there in blog land are having a Simple Sunday. If you want to share what you’re doing today.

A picture of the coreopsis and a cactus

Frugal Friday

Posted in budgeting, budgets, California, cash envelopes, frugalism by

My June budget starts next week. I have everything in except our AAA membership that isn’t on autopay. I think I’ll do that Monday or Tuesday and put it on autopay for next year. It makes things much easier for me.

Our PGE bill went down to the lowest it will be at $163. That’s with no coolers, no heaters, just the dryer some of the time. We line dry what we can this time of year, but still need to fluff in the dryer. We’re on the balanced payment plan, so we pay the average for the year, which is @ $300 a month. Quite high for such a small house.

Regular groceries came in at under $600, so I’m pleased with that. This time, I went back through receipts and took off long-term pantry items, and it made a difference in how the grocery bill looked. For example, the organic ground beef is almost $20, but that will last over 5 months, as we don’t use that much. Same with toothpaste, which is a 5-pack, so 5 months probably. Anyway, I was pleased.

We did pick up the VW. My daughter put a big chunk on her CC, and I paid $600 cash that I had in my cash envelope, for auto maintenance. After that, I splurged on a Quick Quake car wash for her. She looks very shiny now. It drove well. The owner of the auto place said there was some belt squeaking, but he couldn’t quite figure out where, so he said if it got worse, to bring it back in. I certainly hope it’s not another thing at this point.

After my Velcade shot, I went down to the gym since I was already in Roseville. I had planned to go into WinCo again, since I need Ball jar lids, but decided it could wait. So it ended up as a no-spend day. We ended up with 16 no-spend days. So all in all, I’m pleased.

Thankful Thursday

Posted in California, cancer, Gratitude, peritoneal mesothelomia by

I am very grateful my Ortho appt went well. Here’s the scoop. The meniscus tear doesn’t ever heal, but strengthening the knee by exercises helps you regain some mobility. I started back in with the PT exercises and have slowly been adding one a day. The PA seemed to think I didn’t really need the PT appts since I can do what I have from before. But she did say she’d be happy to refer me if I wanted. She also gave me the steroid shot. She said there is another type of shot, too, if I wanted, but that requires insurance approval and takes a while. I said I’ll try the steroid shots for now. Overall, I was quite hopeful that I would be able to get back to my regular routine.

I’m thankful my son offered to take B to his appt. As it turned out, he needed a blood transfusion, so it ended up taking 5 hours. They didn’t even get home till 6:15. I would have been a basket case. He’s still declining, and his onc called yesterday, so I talked with her about how things are not going well. She hasn’t seen him physically, so she was concerned about how frail he is. She did say that the immunotherapy can take a few months to kick in, but the flip side is that the immunotherapy could be feeding the cancer. It’s all very depressing. She was going to get the PET scan moved up so we could see what is going on.

I’m grateful for the rain we had the other day. It helped water the yard and took down some pollen.

It’s a hard time right now, and I don’t expect things to get better anytime soon, but all we can do is be hopeful. And for that I’m grateful.

Where we are now.

Posted in books, California, cancer, husband, peritoneal mesothelomia by

After the shock of Stanford canceling, we’ve moved on to the next phase. Barclay had to cancel all the hotel reservations, and both of my kids had to rearrange the time they had taken off. They did so, and it wasn’t a huge problem as they both have flexibility at their jobs. My anger was at Stanford for waiting to let us know. Dr. Lee had seen his CT scan weeks ago. That’s what upset me the most. Anyway, I’m over it now. ( mostly!!)

After we got that news, the next day he had a video visit with his UCD, and she set up the immunotherapy appointments. Barclay had the first one yesterday. Side effects can be nausea, thyroid problems, and skin issues, but it shouldn’t take down his hemoglobin to the point where he needs transfusions. ( At least I hope so). He will be going every 2 weeks for this. We can only hope it gives him some reprieve and he gets a little more time. He is still not eating very much, and of course, that’s a problem.

On top of all that, I had my right knee go out on me, so I’m wearing a brace and will need to get an MRI to see what it is. The doctor didn’t think it was any kind of fracture so until I get the MRI, ice, and ibuprofen. The only thing I can come up with is 4 days before I did an extended swim, and maybe I overworked my knee. Still, it may be an age factor too, with knees wearing out:(

We’ve had beautiful 70-degree weather, and everything is in full leaf and bloom, including the wisteria. Today, I plan on being home and hobbling around to take care of the house chores. My daughter has been doing the bulk of it for us. My son is going to stop by and do some chores as well. I’m grateful they can help.

I’ve read a few books from the library and including the new B. C Beaton’s ‘Death of a Smuggler’. It was fun to read Hamish Macbeth again. Also, we’re finishing ‘Dark Winds’ based on Hillerman’s Leaphorn and Chee characters. It is excellent. We finished ‘ Reacher’ and I wasn’t too impressed. The actor is a good Reacher, but the adaptation of the story just doesn’t quite fit.

Well, that’s about it. Life goes on. The sun will rise, and today is a new day.

Simple Sunday

Posted in budgeting, budgets, California, cancer, home stuff, Uncategorized, Walking by

A clear morning walk with the waning moon above. No one was around but us and the new hire for the park. We don’t know what happened to the other guy but it’s been around 4 months since they had a regular maintenance person there.

We drove the Santa Fe down to the park because the VW’s flywheel went the other day. This is what the mechanic, who fixed the starter, said would eventually happen. I guess we figured it would be a bit down the road. Unfortunately, we don’t have the money to fix her right now so buggie will just have to sit until we’re done with Stanford. After it’s fixed I guess we’ll need to decide to keep her or sell. Maybe it’s just time to let it go. I wouldn’t want to decide till after it’s fixed.

Today I am not going into the Auburn gym. I think my daughter and I are going to the nursery for some soil and maybe a few flowers.

Today is going to be sunny and the first real day of almost 70 degrees. I plan on getting the Weber out so this week I can BBQ at least once. I have some chicken burgers and Boca burgers too. Tuesday is supposed to be the warmest day.

This week is B’s CT and I have Velcade on Thursday. My appt is at 8:30 so I should be out of there by 9am and I’ll go over to the gym and library. Then Friday with Dex will be a home day.

There haven’t been any changes with my sleep apnea app on my Apple watch. It’s generally right above the elevated line. In April I see the sleep dr so I guess that’s when I’ll know more. I’m pretty sure I would not use a CPAC machine but who knows. Never say never, right??

Next week starts our new budget and I have most everything in. I still need to check my Allstate bill and find the due date. I think that’s the only bill not on auto-pay since I’m paying a different amount each time.

Well, off to start the day! What’s new in your world? anything? I think the reason blogs are so interesting to read is other people’s lives are different than mine and I do enjoy peeking into them.

Five on Friday

Posted in Blood test, California, cancer, cooking, frugalism by

I spent $240 on food at Costco but that includes the protein drinks for B. So that was $25 on sale so closer to $200 for food. That included maple syrup(which lasts a long time), granola( because I didn’t make any), and some other pantry staples. I’d like to figure out what the breakdown is for long-term pantry stuff but not now.

I got gas at Costco this week and that was $4.65 a gallon. So saved some money there.

Today is my eye doctor’s appt for a retinal scan to see how my macular pucker is. I haven’t noticed any change, I still can’t really see out of my right eye. The left eye does all the work. 😦

B had another blood draw and his ALP is still elevated( liver) so that’s what seems to be causing the abdomen pain. He has a message to his UCD oncologist to see what she thinks this is about. His ALT and AST are in the normal range. I think one of them is slightly out of range but those are liver markers too. This really throws a wrench into the whole process because I’m quite sure Dr. Lee won’t do the surgery if something is going on with the liver. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see. Somewhat stressful.

We have PGE’s tree people showing up today. We think they’re going to take the one tree today and then the big one next week. If we paid for these trees, it’d be at least $4K for one and the other is huge so probably $5-6K

I’m just glad they’re doing it. I may go for coffee in town as I get too nervous with trees coming down. We’ll see how it goes.

I made black beans for dinner last night. We each had half a cheese tamale with them plus avocado. I only gave B a small portion because of his stomach pain. I told him also to take one of his pain pills and he did and said that actually helped.