Monthly Archives: October 2025

Frugal Friday

Posted in books, budgeting, budgets, California, cancer, frugalism, Uncategorized by

All the big Fall annual bills are accounted for. I put Allstate on payments and also the California Fair Plan. The AAA rider is still not paid, and I think I saw it was on auto, so I need to double-check that. I paid the property tax with cash from my envelopes so that was very positive. It’s not due technically till December but I figured i’d get it done.

Update: It does look like it’s autopay for October. I actually haven’t gotten the bill, so I’ll check the mail today. So I feel pretty good about having handled all this by myself, even though I don’t like doing it.

I also paid the motorcycle insurance for the year. They took Barclay off as the rider, so the insurance really is just on the bike if something happened to it.( I guess, they weren’t very clear about it.)

After accounting for all the monthly bills, there’s not a whole lot left, but I’ll manage. I’m planning on doing one more Costco shop because I couldn’t find the smoke alarms on sale last time. I spent $100 last time, so I still have a grocery $ budget. I’ll probably do that next week after I see Dr. L in Sacramento.

We had a horrendous amount of rain yesterday. It was like a hose turned on full. My daughter has been working on fixing the gutters so the water was coming down right in front of the door. Not good!! That should get fixed this weekend, and I think today is the last rainy day for a bit.

Today, I’m undecided if I’m going to the pool or not. I’m not crazy about driving in the rain. Plus, my sleep disturbances were elevated last night, and my blood oxygen was lower than normal. I generally don’t feel much different either way, but I have been tracking it since I got my Apple Watch last December. I just had a 10-day period of not elevated which is so weird because nothing is different. I’m glad it was like that but I still can’t figure out a common denominator. I haven’t heard yet from the sleep people for an appt so who knows when that will happen. If I’m inspired I will call them.:)

My son picked up 5 books at his favorite thrift store for me for my birthday, so I have a nice stack of books to read. That’s nice since I don’t feel pressured to go to the library. I started the Nelson DeMille, The Cuba Affair, and so far, I like his writing. I don’t know if I’ve read his stuff. I’ll check out some other titles.

Next week I have my doctor appointment and also Velcade. The doctor’s appointment is on Wednesday, and I do plan on asking about a plan of action should my numbers go up. Knowing his style, he’ll probably say, let’s wait and see, which is probably ok since we won’t really know anything for a few weeks. Fingers crossed it doesn’t but I do need to be ready probably more emotionally than anything. Hopefully I’m just overreacting but still cancer is always there in some way.

Mujō (無常)

Posted in bread, budgeting, California, camping, cancer, Death, husband, Myeloma, simplicity, Uncategorized by

The transient and ever-changing nature of things. As with Wabi Sabi, impermanence of things and the beauty in the imperfect.

Mono no aware, Mono no aware (物の哀れ): 
This term translates to “the pathos of things” and is an aesthetic appreciation for the transient nature of life. It involves a gentle sadness or wistfulness at the passing of things and a deep sensitivity to their ephemeral nature. That’s exactly how I feel in my life. It feels somewhat ‘unreal’ Barclay is not here with me to laugh with, joke with, travel with and everything in between. But I do take comfort in he’s not suffering anymore. It was a very difficult painful last 3 months of his life. Well, now to fall.

Fall is in full swing, here in N. Ca, I get the feeling of Mono no aware and Mujo, and wabi Sabi all rolled up together. We’ve had rain and cloudy days, as well as Tahoe-like days with big, fluffy clouds. I’ve had a few twinkly fires already, since the house stays cool even if it’s nice outside.

Just to back track a little here:

Barclay and I practised Zen Buddhism for many years after our Quaker roots seemed to fade away. However, Quakerism and Buddhism are very similar in fact. Both embrace simplicity and a WAY of life. Of course, Quakerism is rooted in a Christian context, and Buddhism in Eastern philosophy as taught by Buddha.

Right now, the impermanence of life is very real for me and maybe somewhat depressing. I am trying to embrace the Mujo concept because it does help me get through the day and realize that life does go on, and it will for me what whatever time I have left. Some of that is on my mind because of my rising kappa light chains and thinking about having to change treatments by January if they continue to go up.

I know that things will change, and I need to change too. But for now, I’ll try and take comfort in Mujo and mono no aware.

On a brighter note, my kids put together a very nice birthday for me. My son came and took a huge load to the dump( which I wanted done). We got a Round Table pizza, and my daughter had gone to Safeway for some small squares of cake to share. I didn’t have any champagne that day to celebrate, but I will soon.Turning 73 is not much different than 72 for me. The real change for me was at 70. Then I felt like I was getting old. Now, I’m old and just keep trying to do the things I love like swimming, walking, the gym and I hope some day in the near future doing some camping again. If i could afford the camper type van that’s what I’d do. We still ( my daughter and I) are going to check things out sometime in the spring. A small tent trailer is very doable, but I like the idea of self contained. Time will tell. Also, If I got one I’d get a loan so that the payment would be what we were paying for rubi. And we’d have the trailer as our trade in.

Well, I’ve rambled on a bit here, so that’s it for me. I do have the day home today after going to the gym yesterday, so I’ll do some tidying and make some sourdough bread.