Tag Archives: spirituality

Mujō (無常)

Posted in bread, budgeting, California, camping, cancer, Death, husband, Myeloma, simplicity, Uncategorized by

The transient and ever-changing nature of things. As with Wabi Sabi, impermanence of things and the beauty in the imperfect.

Mono no aware, Mono no aware (物の哀れ): 
This term translates to “the pathos of things” and is an aesthetic appreciation for the transient nature of life. It involves a gentle sadness or wistfulness at the passing of things and a deep sensitivity to their ephemeral nature. That’s exactly how I feel in my life. It feels somewhat ‘unreal’ Barclay is not here with me to laugh with, joke with, travel with and everything in between. But I do take comfort in he’s not suffering anymore. It was a very difficult painful last 3 months of his life. Well, now to fall.

Fall is in full swing, here in N. Ca, I get the feeling of Mono no aware and Mujo, and wabi Sabi all rolled up together. We’ve had rain and cloudy days, as well as Tahoe-like days with big, fluffy clouds. I’ve had a few twinkly fires already, since the house stays cool even if it’s nice outside.

Just to back track a little here:

Barclay and I practised Zen Buddhism for many years after our Quaker roots seemed to fade away. However, Quakerism and Buddhism are very similar in fact. Both embrace simplicity and a WAY of life. Of course, Quakerism is rooted in a Christian context, and Buddhism in Eastern philosophy as taught by Buddha.

Right now, the impermanence of life is very real for me and maybe somewhat depressing. I am trying to embrace the Mujo concept because it does help me get through the day and realize that life does go on, and it will for me what whatever time I have left. Some of that is on my mind because of my rising kappa light chains and thinking about having to change treatments by January if they continue to go up.

I know that things will change, and I need to change too. But for now, I’ll try and take comfort in Mujo and mono no aware.

On a brighter note, my kids put together a very nice birthday for me. My son came and took a huge load to the dump( which I wanted done). We got a Round Table pizza, and my daughter had gone to Safeway for some small squares of cake to share. I didn’t have any champagne that day to celebrate, but I will soon.Turning 73 is not much different than 72 for me. The real change for me was at 70. Then I felt like I was getting old. Now, I’m old and just keep trying to do the things I love like swimming, walking, the gym and I hope some day in the near future doing some camping again. If i could afford the camper type van that’s what I’d do. We still ( my daughter and I) are going to check things out sometime in the spring. A small tent trailer is very doable, but I like the idea of self contained. Time will tell. Also, If I got one I’d get a loan so that the payment would be what we were paying for rubi. And we’d have the trailer as our trade in.

Well, I’ve rambled on a bit here, so that’s it for me. I do have the day home today after going to the gym yesterday, so I’ll do some tidying and make some sourdough bread.

The wonder of aging.

Posted in Uncategorized by

When we’re young we don’t think about aging or getting old. Yet, some of us are lucky to live to be 70 + years old.

“ I wish it need not happen in my time,” said Frodo.

” So do I, “said Gandalf,” and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”

So we all just have to decide what to do with that time given us. When we’re young we don’t think about such things unless we are facing some mortality.

I have always been an avid exerciser and loved it. In my twenties, I ran, did ballet, and tennis, and hiked and backpacked and did Yoga. In 1976 I took one of the very first Vipassana meditation classes. Basically, it’s just watching your breath and letting your thoughts go. Pretty much like Zen Meditation. It’s always been a practice of mine. Nowadays they call it Mindful Meditation so it doesn’t sound so foreign to the average American. In my thirties, I did lots of hiking, yoga, and then swimming. Not too much running then . In my forties, much of the same and then started weight lifting at a local gym. Now in my 70’s I swim and do weights and walk almost every day. I was also a vegetarian at 18 till my mid-forties and then ate a little fish and chicken so maybe a modified vegetarian. That’s what I still do.

When I was diagnosed with Myeloma at 52, who with my background would have thought? Certainly not my young self. But there I was and here I am 20 years later. I still exercise and eat mostly a vegetarian diet. So is there a clue to being cancer-free? I doubt it. I think DNA breakdown is the most likely reason and why that is, is anyone’s guess.

I can’t do what I used to do and sometimes I feel age is creeping into my body. I’m certainly stiffer and more arthritis-y but I still can get around. My balance sometimes feels slightly off and I have to watch going up or down stairs. So there are lots of ‘old age’ things creeping in. So accepting limitations is a good thing. It’s hard to do but necessary.

So the wonder of aging, is that we get to be that older person. I wish I was a ‘cool’ old person who was sophisticated and always looked chic. But in my world, yoga pants or jeans and T-shirts are it. I look at people like Helen Mirren and go wow, how beautiful and chic she is. Well, that’s not me but I am wonderous of getting to be 72 in a few weeks time. And I will decide, each and every day what to do with the time that is given me.