Frugal Girl has a good post on her blog to read. It’s about not comparing where you are in life to others, especially when we are all in different seasons of our lives. It helped me reframe some of where I am. Especially when it comes to traveling, money, and lots of other small things. I’d love to keep traveling like I did with Barclay in the RV, but I can’t trailer the RV. So, after I sell it this spring, how can I create a traveling vehicle? Also, I have a very small fixed income that got smaller after Barclay died( by 1/3 less). I am, though, very grateful that what I do get from SS pays the bills. So comparing myself to people still working and earning is a thief of joy and results in only negative thinking. It makes no sense to do those comparisons, as, like I said, we are all in different seasons of our lives. I will accept where I am and my limitations as well. I say limitations, as that is a fact of getting older. I can’t walk as far as I once did. I can’t do lots of things that even 5 years ago I could, such as getting down on the floor to clean corners or the floor. Nope, it’s not happening, and I accept that. ( maybe begrudgingly):)

I am only going to focus on what I can do as FG suggested. I am going to focus on my own internal process and do what I can to still live my best life. I can still do some traveling, it’s just how I can add that in and afford it. I can still do moderate walking, which is something I love, plus always reading and cooking. Those things don’t cost money and add joy to my life.

Yesterday, I went to the Roseville gym and library. I had about 5 books on hold that were due to come off the hold list. From there, I went to TJ’s to get a couple of gift cards to give my kids. I’ve been struggling with the whole gift-giving this year, especially with Barclay gone. I like giving my kids gifts and have always gone somewhat overboard. Nothing crazy, but still more than I can do now. So, in addition to the TJ’s card, I’m giving each some cash, for my son a dinner out with his partner, and my daughter to go and use at the nursery. It’s all a big adjustment, but necessary since money-wise, I can’t really do much more. I’m sure I will adjust and, in time, be ok with it. Since this is the first Christmas/Hanukkah without B, I’m quite emotional about it all. Time is a great healer, and I’m sure things will get easier as time goes by.

It’s finally raining here in N. California after a very beautiful fall break with lovely sun( at least here in the foothills, the valley has been socked in Tule fog). I’m not sure if I’m going down to the pool or waiting till tomorrow. It’s only 6:30, so I have time to get a sense of the day. I have some decluttering to do with some books and some of the Christmas things my son didn’t want.

My son took us to Grass Valley to see the Christmas decorations. It was lots of fun. He makes quite an effort to do things with me. There they are side by side. My lunch was delicious. A turkey green chili sandwich.