First, I want to thank subscriber T for a generous donation to help us through our rough times here. I’m always so humbled that people would consider this at all. Maybe it has to do with feeling insecure about my value or even this blog. But T, thank you for thinking of us.
Another warm day here in N. Ca. I’ve been closing the house down by 8am so the cool stays inside. We turned the coolers on a little earlier yesterday and will again today.
I walked yesterday and today in the park. I’m still not quite up to the .75 mark, but close. I got to .68. No one has been there, which has been very nice. Just me and all the Canada goose families. I’ve done really well this week, not using my cane and trying to walk steadily. I’ve done my PT exercises every other day, and I do think, especially, the ones on the massage table are helping. I just need to keep it up and not think that if my knee feels better to stop.
Now, for some recapping of the situation. B’s doctor said there’s nothing more to do. The PET scan showed disease progression, so the immunotherapy is not doing anything. She was very compassionate about it all. Now we wait for hospice to call us, which should be tomorrow or at least early next week. It is incredibly sad and feels a bit surreal. I’m sure those who have lost a spouse can relate. My son is taking it particularly hard, and I hope he feels he can talk to me. All in all, it really just means waiting, which is also incredibly hard.
We had reservations to go to Tahoe for Father’s Day week, and that will be tough to realize we won’t do that anymore. I haven’t cancelled the reservation yet, probably because of denial. But I will do so this week.
I’m trying to do my ‘normal’ stuff to keep things normal, I guess. Once we meet with hospice, we’ll know more about how to proceed. I don’t have a clue, really.
I hope you out there in blog land are having a Simple Sunday. If you want to share what you’re doing today.
A picture of the coreopsis and a cactus
Tahoe Girl 
No words, just love and holding you all in my heart.
You’re right, sometimes there are no words.
Sending hugs and care. Having just supported my SIL through hospice care for my brother, I hear your words a bit through her ears. I hope you get whatever support you need so that you can also take care of yourself.
Thanks, I know you’ve been through a lot with family etc.
So very sorry about the devastating news.
I lost my husband three years agoI came home and found him dead in his chairI know this hospice thing is going to be hard. One consolation is that you get to say goodbye and you get to say all the things that you want to say.I am so sorry that I never got to do those thingsWe don’t have a choice in any of thisWe just do the best we can every dayThinking of youHilary
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What a shock that must have been. At least we’ve had some time to process. Still it’s painful to see someone you love in pain, and so frail.
sending my hugs and prayers to you and your family!
I lost my husband almost two years ago. He also was on hospice for a short time.
one thing I can say is do and say everything you want to now so you have no regrets later. I never thought I’d get through it all but the grace came to me and also the strength. Enjoy each day as much as possible and remember how strong you are.
also I am so thankful for the memories we made. They help when I miss him.
catch my hug ,
We have always had a very open communication, and hospice should be helpful
I am so sorry to hear this and hope hospice provides all of you with the support you need.
Thanks Juhli.
Sending prayers for your entire family. I am glad you have chosen the hospice route, which will give B the dignity for the next phase of his life.
Thanks, I’m hoping they call today if not I will call them.
l am so so sorry that the immunotherapy isn’t working for B. My thoughts are with him, you and your children.
Yes, we had high hopes for immuntherapy but it wasnt meant to be.
I’m so sorry to hear. I’ve been through this twice with both my husbands. The second time was in Auburn and I found the hospice care wonderful, especially the social worker who was a great support to me in dealing with family issues. I’m hoping you have the same helpful experience with them.
It is so sad after everything Barclay went through with MDS and now this is terminal.
I lost my husband to cancer as well, while living in Auburn. I was very impressed with the hospice care we received. The social worker especially was a great support to me as I tried to keep everything together. I hope you have the same good experience.
That’s so good to hear. Thank you. I did an intake on the phone yesterday so that was good.
I am so sorry you all are going through this. I hope the hospice people can help give you the guidance and strength you need. I will be thinking of you every day.
Thank you, I think hospice will be great for us.
I am a long-time lurker – I found your blog 9 or so years ago when I was diagnosed with MM – between walking and Fly Lady and minimalism and frugality, we have had so much in common. Your writing of just normal life while going through MM has been a comfort to me.
I am so sorry about this. B. has been such a terrific partner for you after your diagnosis. I know you can be/have been just such a partner for him as he goes through this. Hospice is never fun, but it has many blessings. The most difficult part for my family when (mom went through hospice this past year) is the change of mind-set – from “we’re fighting this with everything we’ve got” to “we’re going to make sure you are as comfortable as possible.” It was very hard for us — but it turned out to be SUCH a good thing for her. Sending many positive thoughts to you and your family.
Congratulations on being 9 years out from diagnosis. A milestone for sure. Are you in treatment now or remission? I guess at this point I’ll be on the monthly Velcade till it stops working, which I hope is never). It was really only after my first relapse that I went gung ho into minimalism,FL and everything in between.